December 2, 2016

CAN YOU EVER SURVIVE A ONE NIGHT STAND AT YOUR OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY?

How can a man possibly survive the most humiliating day of his office life so far?

The Christmas party; one night of the year when all your morals and standards that you work so hard on all year are chucked out the window and you’re left, red faced and hungover, with your dignity definitely not still intact because you went home with a colleague last night.

So what’s a man to do? How can he possibly survive the most humiliating day of his office life so far?

Before you answer with an immediate and resounding ‘he can’t’, behold, because there are actually a few relatively simple and straightforward steps that are guaranteed to ensure you survive the most awkwardone night stand of your life thus far.

Sure, office parties can be fun; it’s the perfect excuse to bond with colleagues you’ve never given the time of day to, a great chance to try and have crack a joke or two with the crew you wish you were a part of and, as your beer googles will tell you, it’s the perfect opportunity to chat up the girl you’ve been staring at, all doe-eyed, for the last year.

But what happens when things get a little too weird and you find yourself drinking one too many shots of tequila with the entire Accounts team and, before you know it, you’ve somehow managed to woe the aforementioned girl into the same taxi and – hey presto! – she’s back at your flat. Come morning, she’s nowhere to be seen but, shock horror, you bump into her in the lift. It’s awkward, to say the very least. But how are you going to come out of the other side an even better gentlemen?

First off, don’t get awkward. The more weird jokes, uncomfortable noises and creepy glances you give her, the more awkward it’s going to get. She clearly doesn’t want anything more with you – sorry – or she would have at least hung around for coffee. Open with charming wit and leave it at that. Ignoring her not the way to go either, but equally showering her with too much affection is only going to put her off.

Don’t deny what happened either. Unless she’s hideously embarrassed, she’s going to tell her work friends. And if you work in a small office, that means news will travel fast and denying it will not only make you look incredibly cold-hearted and unkind, but it’s also ungentlemanly in every sense of the word. One tip for surviving? Don’t overshare and definitely don’t pretend it didn’t happen. If she likes you or enjoyed herself last night, she’s going to make an effort to bump into you at the water machine. It’ll be pretty obvious what she wants within the first few hours in the office, and respecting that is going to make managing this severely awkward situation a lot easier.